Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I bet he comes in French.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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