yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
