Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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