Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
