Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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