new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
