PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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