ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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