He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
