I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
