idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
