I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
