Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
