I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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