He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
