Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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