1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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