Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
