I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
