he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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