This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
