oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I died a long time ago.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
