Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
