I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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