Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
