Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
