I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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