is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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