I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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