Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
