i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize