Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
