what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
