I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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