She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
