How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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