the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
