last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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