How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
