there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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