This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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