we have pet lesbian snakes
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
