I'm going to jail i love you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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