I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
