White coat. Heels.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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