shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he puts the penis in happiness.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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