Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
