apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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