Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
