I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
