I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
