just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
