please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
